It might seem counter-intuitive with my moniker, but overall I am a pretty nice person.  While it’s true that I am harsh, unforgiving and judgmental of weakness, I am also very loyal and supportive to the people I care about.  Get past my walls and I will give, give, give.  It sometimes takes me getting it rubbed in my face to realize that I’m not getting the same in return.

When it comes to people doing stupid fucked up shit, I am vicious and not liable to forgive and forget.  But I’m also not prone to walk away and abandon anyone in need.  I give chances.  Endless fucking chances, because I want to believe that the people I care about are better than that.  That stance has fucked me over on more occasions and in more ways than I care to think about over the years, because most people just see second chances as proof that you’ll give them a third, and so on until you either begin to accept their abuse of your trust as the standard, or you man up and amputate them from your life.  And at that point they always act somehow shocked that you cut them off.  It baffles me.  What did you think was going to happen?  Did you really think I’d stick around forever being a good friend to you after you repeatedly snuck in the opportunity to kick me when my guard was down?

So what do you do when you want to give someone a kick in the ass without martyring whatever relationship exists between the two of you?  There seems to be no good answer.  You can explain, support, discuss, warn and threaten until you go blue in the face and it generally makes no difference – it always seems to boil down to either accepting the person’s repeated fuck ups or opting to surgically remove them from your life.  Both are horrible options, but what else can you do when someone lacks the self-knowledge or strength of will or simply the desire to stop hurting the people who care about them most?  At some point you have to stick to your guns and leave them in the dust, or else lose all sense of the limits that you will endure, along with most of your self-respect.  No one is worth that.

Using my trust and decency against me is a truly bad idea.  When I finally give up and go cold I am utterly without sympathy or remorse and there is no recovering from that.  For every thing that I say, there are ten that I know.  I let things go without comment FAR more often than I ever communicate, and by the time I openly take issue with something it’s because I’ve already noticed a pattern.  Maybe that’s my fault for tolerating it at all, but I try to avoid being even more of a bladed ice bitch than I already am.

Never underestimate my willingness to cut off a limb – either my own, or yours – to escape a trap.