BeautyDestroyed

Gang Rape in Asia – Is it a man’s world?

I feel like I should post this at a time when more people are likely to be awake and see this in their feed, but I just watched it so I’m posting it now. I think this topic is extremely important – not just as a woman, but as a human. I also think it’s necessary to take an approach that does not simply demonize men (although it is hella tempting sometimes and I feel the urge to do so as well), because that doesn’t solve the problem. Yes, all rapists are assholes. Yes, all rape victims are in fact victims.  And no, there’s never an excuse. But there’s a hell of a lot more to the topic than psychopathic cavemen and terrified virgins, and I think everyone knows that on some level, though they’re quick to respond with outrage without taking the time to think rationally on the topic. It is, after all, a topic that provokes a very visceral response in most sensible people.

Most everyone is used to my humorous, extreme, off-the-cuff responses to topics like this (a.k.a. “just shoot all these assholes”), but the fact that this violation of another person’s body is still as common as it is really should spur us to deeper levels of consideration of the cause. I genuinely do not think all men who rape are monsters. I do not think that all rape is brutal. I do not think that all victims are completely innocent, even though I acknowledge that they are victims. I do not go in for ignorant “victim blaming” nor do I side with the crappy internet nu-feminist “rape culture” of rewarding victim behavior. It’s just not that simple. The reasons men rape, and the reasons women become victims, is a very complex subject that blurs the lines of socioeconomics and delves into social acceptance and power. Gang rape, even more so. Blame games keep things from being talked about – it DOES NOT keep people from doing it. So please think about that before you freak out in a feminist huff or go on about women acting like sluts.

I fully believe that women should have the right to dress how they want and party how they want and not be harassed or violated for it. However, I ALSO believe that it’s common sense to work with your environment. Would you tape a hundred dollar bill to your ass and go jogging in Oakland? Maybe if you wanted to max your run time, but probably not if you were concerned about your safety. Should you have the RIGHT to? Sure. But it’d still be a fucking stupid thing to do, and the same goes for wearing a micro-mini to a frat party and passing out spreadeagled in front of a dozen 20 year old idiots. Or sleeping drunk and naked in your ex-boyfriend’s bed. Or whatever. There is a point where you need to admit that your actions helped to create the situation, even if that does not excuse the people who took advantage of that. That’s reality, and I suggest that everyone start living within it.

Men – ALL men, and that includes all of you reading this – have a responsibility to keep this from happening. It’s your buddies and co-workers and friends of friends who do this, and one of the reasons it keeps happening is that other men are forgiving of it. Be the one to talk about it and make sure your friends know that you, at least, don’t think this is cool at all. That doesn’t mean you need to go start being one of those aggravating male feminists that preaches female issues for all the world to hear in the hopes that it will gain you some female attention, I mean keep the discussion open and take a rational stance. Outrage is all dandy and la-de-dah, but it accomplishes nothing in the long run. Don’t be that guy. Be the guy who makes someone else see a whole fuckton of sense. Also, report anyone who does this, regardless of how close they might be to you. That might be your daughter some day.

Women – Stop playing the game. Every one of you who screams rape because you’re pissed at a guy for not calling you the next day or because you nailed someone you regret or don’t want to admit to while drunk is a traitor to your own kind, and we all know someone who has done this. You are not helpless little girls, you are fully grown adult fucking WOMEN. You make up half the population and a majority of the vote. Learn your power and use it to keep yourselves safe and sane above and beyond simply being the center of attention and sympathy. There is no win in the pity game.

Some people think I’m a feminist and others think I’m anti-feminist just to kick up waves. You’re both wrong. I’m a realist, and I’m tired of blanket outrage and no action or personal responsibility. We all play a part in issues like these, and there is no excuse for this overwhelming lack of basic human decency.